Most business books and magazines sing the virtues of having or being a mentor. Even though we know how valuable a mentor can be to our success, we discover that finding the right fit is not always easy. In this article, I discuss the ins and outs.

It is important that the mentor-mentee relationship is satisfying to both people involved.

• If you find someone you would like to have as a mentor, ask him or her if they are willing. If they back out gracefully, or just say, "No," accept the answer graciously and without devastation.
• If you become a mentee, make sure that you know the ground rules - what you both expect from the relationship. If your mentor suggests that you make certain changes to push yourself to a new level, will you be willing to follow those suggestions?
• Being a mentor can be satisfying and exhilarating as long as you feel that your mentee is giving it his or her "all."
• If, however, you begin to feel drained and/or manipulated, it is time to bow out. I recently became involved in a mentor-mentee situation where the young man I was meeting with on a regular basis gave me the impression that he was "using" my talents, abilities and knowledge to advance his career rather than trying to develop his own talents, abilities and knowledge.
• I feel strongly that as long as both of you feel that your relationship is beneficial, keep it up; but once it isn't good for one and/or both of you, have the guts to move on.

So, ask yourself the following questions:

• Who have been my best mentors over the years?
• Is there someone I would like to have as a mentor now?
• Is there someone I would like to mentor now?
• When and how will I start on my mentor quest?

The time is now! Try it -- you will be glad you did!