Healthy boundaries are like invisible safety zones that surround each person. Boundaries help us keep ourselves safe, and keep us from doing harm to others. Here are some examples:

17-year-old Vicki goes out for pizza with friends. Vicki stops eating when she feels full.

Vicki maintains her healthy boundary by listening to what her body wants and needs, without feeling pressured to fit in, and possibly overeat.

Annie meets Mario, a new friend, for coffee. Annie and Mario enjoy their conversation, and the time flies by. When they are ready to leave, Annie asks Mario if she can give him a hug.

Both Annie and Mario have warm and happy feelings about each other after their conversation. Rather than assuming that it is okay to hug Mario, Annie shows respect for Mario by asking if a hug is okay. Annie protects her own boundary by not forcing a hug when it is not wanted.

We are born with our boundaries intact. In normal human development, we learn to distinguish between others, and ourselves, between our feelings and the feelings of others. We learn that we can have thoughts, ideas, dreams, wishes that do not have to be the same as the dreams and wishes of others.

These are some of the signs of healthy boundaries: