Gen-X has become Gen-Net, the networked generation. Among the lot of us, we have the power today--right here, right now--to completely transform our culture overnight. Together, we can say "no" to just about anything and make that "no" a reality. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to organize!

First off, let's say a unified "no" to the current state of women's fashion. I've about had it with women's clothing that looks like it fell out of the 1950s version of the Stepford Wives handbook. One of the reasons people always think I'm about 10 years younger than I am is that I dress about 10 years younger than I am. I just can't bring myself to adopt the soccer mom sweater set as an expression of "style."

I think the real problem here is that there aren't enough straight men in the fashion industry. Let's face it, if straight men were in charge of designing women's clothes, we'd all be wearing lingerie to the grocery store. I'm not saying that's what I'm hoping for, but it would be a lot better than looking through a hundred June Cleaver outfits for one little red dress.

I know, ladies, I know. You're concerned that you don't have the figure for that kind of thing anymore, right? Well I'm convinced that if women's clothing were designed by straight men, I'd actually be working out every day. And drinking plenty of water. And eating vegetarian meals...

Not only would I have the figure of an 18 year old, but I'd probably live to enjoy it for a hundred and twenty years.

Besides which, men don't care. Honestly, they don't. When you think about men making jokes about some girl not looking hot enough, think about where you remember hearing it. Ninety percent of the time, you heard it on television. Is that how we're judging reality now? By television? Please.

Real men love women. Love us. Every beautiful curvy inch of us. I promise! So turn off the TV and go show off a little. That is, if you can find anything sexy to wear.