Sir, would you like to buy the lady a rose? asked the waitress. Well, maybe she was a waitress, but shed transformed into a high-pressure salesman in the time it took her to run to the kitchen to get my side of honey mustard. My date and I were dining in an establishment where everything was served la fried, the dcor was contemporary neon and the light aroma of fragrant cancer sticks filled the air. In a word: dive. It may have been up to health codes, but there darned sure wasnt a botanist out back growing fresh varieties of roses for the patrons.

I gave the waitress a Youve gotta be kidding! look and said, Uh, no. Ill get her a side of onion rings and shell appreciate those a lot more. I wasnt trying to be rude, but as the wannabe florist stomped away, my courtesy faded and I decided, you know, I DO want to be rude now!

I mean, talk about pressure! How does one in my position respond to that? If I say no, then Im rejecting my date, right? If I say yes, Im buying a crummy rose and throwing it at someone who may not want it in the first place. With that one little question, I was placed into a lose-lose situationand I hate to lose!

Ever found yourself in any sort of high-pressure situation like this? Maybe not by someone peddling flowers, but perhaps in a retail store? Or how about those lovely telemarketers who have an answer to every rejection? Have you ever been guilted into doing something you didnt really want to do?

The truth is, when someone pressures us into anything, the natural reaction is to resist. Think about it. If a salesperson starts putting the screws to you, what do you do? Chances are, if youre anything like me, you either: 1.Get mad or 2.Decide not to buy anything. Or maybe you actually cave to the pressure of the salesperson. If thats the case, then Ill bet you also walked out of the store with your purchase, cursing yourself for falling into that trap.

People have positive reactions to guidance and education, not force. If someone learns both the drawbacks and benefits to a service, product or scenario, theyre more likely to feel empowered to make a decision that is right for them.

From kindergarten through my freshman year of high school, I barely ever cracked open a textbook outside of school. Yes, yes, I was one of those kids who could skate by without trying and still make As and Bs. You know that old saying, If you studied, youd be dangerous? Yeah, I heard that many, many times while my parents suggested I stick my nose in a book.

Then came my sophomore year of high school, and Mr. Barleys geometry class. I, of course, figured that what had worked the last 10 years would work again. Wrong! First test of the year, yours truly scored a whopping 20%. Yes, 20%. Yes, out of 100%. At that moment I had to face facts. Either I was stupid, or I had to learn to study. So, I did! (Uhhh learned to study that is, not admit I was stupid.)

From that point on I dont think I ever failed another test. (Okay, okay, I dont recall failing another test, but theres a strong chance Ive selectively blocked out those traumatic memories!) So, why did I ignore my parents suggestions for so long, but then took it upon myself?

Because its human nature. We make genuine change when we are ready. Then the action isnt half-hearted based on negative emotions, but is instead a true effort to do what we believe.

Pressure is appealing to no one. Whether someone is trying to sell you an item, change your opinion or book you a first class ticket on a guilt trip, pressure simply isnt the best way to handle things. People respond best when theyve been educated, empowered and respected - not pressured. The next time youre feeling forced to do something you dont really want to do, think of the rose lady. Are you being educated? Respected? Empowered? If not, remember that a rose by any other name is still nothing more than a high-pressure sales gimmick!