When we start out life we are very much dependent on whomever it is that is supporting us. Our belief system is conditioned from a very early age. We eventually believe they will fulfill all our needs and take care of usforever. This does not happen. We also love ourselves and feel we can do anything. Eventually, for some of us, through our life experiences, we learn to be skeptical in our ability to take care of ourselves or do the things we need to do to get on with life. And we lose some of that love of self. Our personal belief in self has been damaged by someone or something.

Often we lose the ability to defend ourselves because we may not trust our sense of what is going on around us or within us. We do not pay attention to the warning signs of danger that we learned in earlier life. Our self awareness and awareness of our surroundings has become less important to us and we have lost our sense of intuition that would normally identify a strange or dangerous situation. Sometimes we have been beaten down so hard that we will not stand up for our rights anymore, because we may feel that we do not have any.

We feel that our rights have been taken away and therefore, loosen our personal boundaries and emotional boundaries and do not take heed to situations that may harm us. We lose the belief in our ability to verbally and physically defend ourselves when anyone starts intruding in our personal life. We do not care! We do not have any self-respect anymore and mostly do not respect anyone else. We do not take care of ourselvesdo not care about our personal safetyand do not care about our security in life. They have no meaningall because we have lost belief in ourselves and our abilities.

Learning to bring that positive self belief back is not always an easy task. You have to learn how to trust yourself again and know that you can make right decisions about yourself and your life. As much as a negative belief in yourself can be harmful, a positive belief in yourself can be extremely rewarding and powerful. You can start to develop positive things in your life and re-build your self-worth. You can create a positive life cycle for yourself.

When you start believing in yourself again, you start feeling you have rights again; and you are far more likely to defend yourself and do whatever it takes to stay safe, emotionally and physically. You learn the difference between truth and fact. You can believe that you can truly take care of yourself and still understand the fact that you may not always be in the safest situations to defend yourself adequately.

You learn that your beliefs have been developed by your sense of the world, both real and imagined. You actually develop a model of life that will keep you safe, emotionally and physically. Beliefs are changeable. What we believed in at age 10 is certainly not what we believe in at age 30.

You can take charge of your life and bring back three major beliefs:

1. My self-respect is worth standing up for.

2. I deserve to live and be safe.

3. I have the ability to keep myself safe.

When you fully believe in yourself and have reset your boundaries, you have strengthened your self-worth and a personal or physical attack becomes, once again, unacceptable to you. You will become a determined, strong, responsible person and know what you want that will keep you safe. You are much less likely to let any emotional or physical abuse control your life and understand that these things happen and are a fact of life. You do not have to put up with that anymore. You can transform your life.