One of the first things an adulterer can do to assure his spouse that he is serious about making the marriage work is to be available 100% of the time to the injured spouse. This is by far the best way to start rebuilding the trust that has been destroyed in the marriage. Twenty-four hour accountability is crucial to saving a marriage. The adulterer is working to rebuild trust and the injured spouse has to have access to the information so that she can see for herself that the adulterer is not falling into old traps. The first step in this type of accountability is to ensure the injured spouse has a schedule of the adulterers day and knows where he will be and how to contact him at any given moment. This doesnt mean that she can call his secretary and his secretary will track him down. This means that his spouse has direct access to him at all times. Anytime there will be a deviation in the schedule it is imperative that the adulterer notify the injured spouse at once. One of the worst things that could happen is that the injured spouse will pick that particular moment to contact the adulterer and find that he is not where he said he would be. While there may be a perfectly good explanation for it, that will not change the damage that will have already been created by the lack of respect for the needs of the injured spouse. Twenty-four hour accountability also serves the purpose of making it very difficult for the adulterer to fall back into the triangle with the other person. Since all the time is accounted for and the injured spouse can call or come by at any moment, there is less opportunity for the adulterer to jump back into the affair. The adulterer should expect to be checked up on and should not become defensive when the injured spouse calls to do so. Being where they said they would be, with who they said they would be, and at what time they said they would be there all go to confirm for the injured spouse that she can begin to trust a little more. Each time she checks and the adulterer is doing as they said they would it builds a little more trust. Isnt that the goal after all, to rebuild the trust in order to rebuild the marriage? |
